You're right about there being lots of opinions about 'patina' .
When it comes to silver , my general rule-of-thumb is to arrest (stop) oxidation .
If the item is very thin/fragile , I'll usually use an extended & time consuming cleaning process with Orvus Wa paste , distilled water and either grain alcohol (Everclear) or +90% isopropyl alcohol & completely skip the 'polishing' step .
If you must polish (which will tend to accent the defects & assets of an item) , always do so gently ... this can & will leave some dark 'patinaed' in the deeper details of a piece that has been carved/stamped/repousee & will tend to accent the 'shiny' parts .
Also always remember to dry your silver totally , after washing with water .
Many collectors will use a simple waxing & buffing method to coat & semi-seal silver after cleaning/polishing ; others use lacquer , clear-coats & such (I'd never use these last methods , myself) .
There are silver-impregnated cloths that folks use to store &/or display their silver in/on - these are reputed to slow/prevent tarnishing of sterling silver .
That's my quick 2 cents worth .