.and i,m not about to try and grow them
They will grow by themself.
Put one (1) or 2 tomato plants
right beside of your house, preferably in a flower bed, on the East or Southeast side. Drive a stake beside of them and then put strong cord from the stake to the eve of your house. And as the tomato plant grows ... keep it loosly tied to the cord with a 1/2" strip of cloth or a piece of the same cord.
And that one (1) plant should provide you all the tomatoes you will eat until cold Fall temperatures kill it.
As long as you continue to "tie-it-up" .... it will continue "growing upwards".