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The hubby comes into the bedroom carrying a tray with a glass of water and tablets.
Wife: "Huh, what's this?"
Hubby: "Oh, your anti-migraine tablets and your double-whopper anti headache pills..."
Wife: "What? I don't have an headache -or- migraine!"
Hubby: *grin*
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A policeman stops a man in an old MG roadster for excessively speeding through town.
Cop: "G'evening sir. You do know you were a bit fast back there, huh?"
Man: "... well yeah - but it was an emergency!"
Cop: "Oh? Would you care to tell me what kind of an emergency allows a driver to blast through town at THAT rate?"
Man: *blushes* "... gulp ... well I accidentally took a double dose of V!agra an hour ago and need to get home *quick*, like."
Cop: "Sir, that's no excuse at all. If you want a good cuddle with your lady can't you just take your aids while being at home?"
Man: "Who says I wanted to cuddle? Have you ever tried to get out from under this #*!?ing steering wheel with a darned boner?"
Cheers!