Author Topic: Don,t all fall off yer Perches.....  (Read 4430 times)

bigwull

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Don,t all fall off yer Perches.....
« on: April 20, 2013, 02:17:53 pm »
hi all, just thought i,d share with you, my eventful, past week...please do not fall off yer perches... ;D

., this is a true story...and it happened to me these last few days, ...i don,t know if i mentioned it or not, but, after Avril had the attack, I decided to fit a downstairs loo,..as our only bathroom is upstairs,..anyway, we had a walk in pantry, that was the ideal location,
So I started last week, to make it into the cloakroom,..the only problem i had was how to get the drain out to the main sewer,..but lucky for me, after i,d stripped off the plasterboard,..lo & behold, there was a vent pipe for the main sewer, behind the wall,,It was a stroke of luck, finding it,...fast forward to Wednesday,..i,d done all the groundwork,got the plumbing in place, tiled the floor, cut the cast iron pipe, went and bought the toilet bowl,.I already had the wash bowl,.......so on Wed, i fitted the toilet bowl/cistern plumbed it in, tested for leaks, everything was as it should be,..then it came to the baptism...I won,t go into the gory details, ..but suffice to say, it worked, I pressed the button and the shit disappeared down the pipe,...success,....and elation, for ..a whole, day,...
It was last night, Avril said to me, I think "Blackie"..our remaining cat, has pooped in the Box room, as there is a smell of poops,..I went into the box room and she was right,there was a smell,...whilst i was in there, Avril went to the toilet,...after about, 10 mins, as i stood there, a different smell, met my nostrils,...It was like disinfectant.....I  went to find Avril,I asked her if she,d put disinfectant down the toilet, ..she said she,d put one of those blue blocks on the rim...of the bowl,...
That was the smell i,d smelt...so i went and got my tools, ..power saw, hammer, chisel, etc..i cleared the box room, and  measured where the joist were...as i suspected a break in the sewer pipe,....I cut a hatch in the floor...lifted out the boards....and ...the sight that met my eyes,,,,was...Not a cracked or broken pipe....."there was No effin pipe...the shit was in the crawlspace,...the pipe that i thought was a vent pipe, for the sewer, was in fact a vent pipe for the crawlspace,,....i did,nt know werther to laugh or cry....
So today, after much deliberation...we bought one of them macerator machines..you know..like a food proccessor..or Blender...for pumping shit out of houses where there is no accessable drain.....so tomorrow, i,ve got to cut through the outside wall, with a core cutter,..then dig a trench 5 metres long,..so that i can lay this little 40mm pipe..so that we can have a shit in peace....talk about the best laid plans..of mice & men.....Ha...pic is courtesy..of ..Sapphire...
I make no excuses,and no apologies....but i like a good Malt,

sapphire

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Re: Don,t all fall off yer Perches.....
« Reply #1 on: April 20, 2013, 03:26:54 pm »
Someone should give Avril a heads-up.  If she doesn't keep a close eye on you the current project may end up looking like this............



mart

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Re: Don,t all fall off yer Perches.....
« Reply #2 on: April 20, 2013, 03:36:27 pm »
Can`t believe you have a cat and don`t know how handy that clay cat litter is for absorbing liquids !!

bigwull

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Re: Don,t all fall off yer Perches.....
« Reply #3 on: April 20, 2013, 03:44:19 pm »
Oh! i know about that stuff, but we don,t need it,..the cat knows where to do its business...unlike its owner.. ;D
I make no excuses,and no apologies....but i like a good Malt,

bigwull

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Re: Don,t all fall off yer Perches.....
« Reply #4 on: April 20, 2013, 03:48:56 pm »
Someone should give Avril a heads-up.  If she doesn't keep a close eye on you the current project may end up looking like this............



correct me if i,m wrong...but the more i look at that pic, the more i have an image of a pumpkin... ;D
I make no excuses,and no apologies....but i like a good Malt,

mart

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Re: Don,t all fall off yer Perches.....
« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2013, 06:36:23 pm »
Oh! i know about that stuff, but we don,t need it,..the cat knows where to do its business...unlike its owner.. ;D

Didn`t mean that !!  Meant where you had the leak !!

KC

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Re: Don,t all fall off yer Perches.....
« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2013, 09:58:07 pm »
I am gagging I am laughing so hard Mart.  I didn't take it that way but when I re-read it I envisioned a human litter box!!!  It would have been cheaper and easier than what Wullie is dealing with right now!!!
I'm from the South - but please don't mistake my Southern Manners/Accent/Charm as a weakness!

sapphire

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Re: Don,t all fall off yer Perches.....
« Reply #7 on: April 20, 2013, 10:22:58 pm »
I am gagging I am laughing so hard Mart.  I didn't take it that way but when I re-read it I envisioned a human litter box!!!  It would have been cheaper and easier than what Wullie is dealing with right now!!!

Wullie has actually moved on from 'fertilizer' to veggies now .......... will let him explain that part  ;)



 :D :D

bigwull

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Re: Don,t all fall off yer Perches.....
« Reply #8 on: April 21, 2013, 01:30:00 am »
Mart, I don,t think you have grasped what i have written....there was No leak...because there was No effin sewer pipe, what I had connected to was a Vent pipe that only went as far as the crawlspace...theref ore after i,d parked my bum, and flushed the loo, all the shit, went into the crawlspace......not a pipe...cos there was no pipe...looking back i can laugh about it...but at the time ..it was...Oh! shit!!....Avril!!...we have a problem...to which she answered..."what do you mean "we"have a problem...you did the job....you fix it..... ;D
I make no excuses,and no apologies....but i like a good Malt,

cogar

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Re: Don,t all fall off yer Perches.....
« Reply #9 on: April 21, 2013, 04:48:56 am »
I had a similar experience with a “vent” pipe when I lived in upstate NY. Only it was the actual “vent” pipe for the septic tank ….. which extended from the basement up thru an exterior wall and out the roof of the 2nd floor.

It was one of those “blue cold” winters we usta have fore Global Warming came around, …. like 30+- days of below 0F temps, …. and that’s daytime temps, ….. and this gawd awful smell slowly started to permeate the house.

Well now, I got ta checking and “DUH”, …. the moisture in those vent gasses had frozen at the top of that 4” vent pipe and completely sealed it off. I had to get my 20’ extension ladder and a long stick to break the ice off of it. It was a “high-up” task as you can see via this picture, sent to me by the present owners

ghopper1924

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Re: Don,t all fall off yer Perches.....
« Reply #10 on: April 21, 2013, 05:12:33 am »
Well BigWull, nobody can accuse you of not achieving "full disclosure."

Honestly, I laughed by a** off in between cringing. I also have to say that, despite the hilarity of the story, you seem like a handy and capable type who will soon put things right.

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Ipcress

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Re: Don,t all fall off yer Perches.....
« Reply #11 on: April 21, 2013, 06:43:27 am »
Mart, I don,t think you have grasped what i have written....there was No leak...because there was No effin sewer pipe, what I had connected to was a Vent pipe that only went as far as the crawlspace...theref ore after i,d parked my bum, and flushed the loo, all the shit, went into the crawlspace......not a pipe...cos there was no pipe...looking back i can laugh about it...but at the time ..it was...Oh! shit!!....Avril!!...we have a problem...to which she answered..."what do you mean "we"have a problem...you did the job....you fix it..... ;D

Laughing so hard it reminded me of Phoebe in Friends



" Avril, we have a problem "

mart

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Re: Don,t all fall off yer Perches.....
« Reply #12 on: April 21, 2013, 11:23:23 am »
Duh !!!  Unless the UK is different than here and you intended to leave it in the crawl space,, Dump a few bags of that cheap cat litter on top,, in short order it will absorb the moisture,, shit and all,, then shovel into a garbage bag and toss it in the trash !! Or bury it !!  Same as your cat !! I had the same problem in a mobile home I bought once !!  Someone had disconnected the drain from the line and it ran under the trailer !!   Cat litter is a wonderful thing when you need it !!

bigwull

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Re: Don,t all fall off yer Perches.....
« Reply #13 on: April 21, 2013, 12:12:57 pm »
Word of warning!!.....: When you're in the shit up to your neck, don't let your head down.. It's disgusting
our crawlspace is now clear,and smelling of roses,...2 x spray cans of airfreshner, and .numerous hanging pine tree airfreshners.... ;D

I make no excuses,and no apologies....but i like a good Malt,

Ipcress

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Re: Don,t all fall off yer Perches.....
« Reply #14 on: April 21, 2013, 12:25:26 pm »