This won't put any zing back into your life, and it may only take some of you a nanosecond to work it out.
OK, this is only a guestimate, but it stands approx 15" high, and may be 3 - 3 1/2' long.
The central piece, with a hole in it, slides along the length in a groove, and it will also come apart therefore widening the aperture.
It is Georgian, probably first decade of the 19th c.
What is it